05 May 2013
Flight of Freighter Bird
Plump Robin
o, you swag
so, when you fly
each down-beating
of your wings
up brings a crest
and then the trough
― when wings come up ―
of waving sine
O yes, your flight’s
a fancied garland
unwound from yonder
tree ― stretched out
but still
such rolling
as a string
of pinned-up tinsel
penciled ’cross the scene
In a dream
― I shan’t say whose ―
upside down
someone dreamed
you flew
O, winsome swimmer
your lantern breast
bobbing ― a constant
crest ―
O, Plump Robin
o, how you flew
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Some nice lines here Bobby. Like the shape of the poem, too.
ReplyDeleteHey Jonathan,
DeleteThank you for your kind comment. Re-working the middle (garland/tinsel) section - have done about 30 rewrites thus far! Hope to re-post by end of week.
Cheers,
B.R.
I like that third stanza very much.
ReplyDelete"o, you swag/ so" - there's some lovely music here. Sense of something stolen or grabbed at underlining the key notes.
Hey W.B.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your generous comments. Yes, there is an undercurrent - I suppose - (for wont of a better term) that plays with and against the almost childlike address to "Plump Robin."
Hope all are well on your end,
B.R.