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I am
still awake
and the fuzzy
grey dawn is
just is
It
is just
coming in
like an old t.v.
screen warming
up and the earliest
trees begin
to announce
themselves
as filigree not night
fingers
not mittens
and fire escapes
unveil their cascading
Z’s against their buildings
trees begin
ReplyDeleteto announce
themselves
as filigree not night
fingers
not mittens
and fire escapes
...the enjambment of "filigree not night" followed by the break of stanza, then the immediate return to enjambment of thought with "fingers/not mittens/and fire escapes" is very effective for slowing the reader, forcing them to re-read, and appreciate this little passage. I love the idea that the trees "announce" themselves - this is a lovely verb to describe what happens, I love the word/image "filigree" and the idea of "night fingers." Night fingers! How terrific.
Dear Amber,
DeleteThanks so much for your kind and thoughtful comment. You're spot on about how strategic line breaks pull the insightful reader into playing through variations. This is starkly pressed even in the first stanza where "is" on line 4 actually gets a full stop, though we expect to rumble on. And line 5 reiterates this: "Just is."
Yet another way to read the concluding section is this: "...as filigree - not night, fingers - not mittens, and fire escapes unveil..."
Thanks again for your attentive reading and encouragement.
Peace,
B.R.