01 December 2012

Study in Purples and Pearly Whites

her purple
pullover

pulls open
her mouth so

that her lips
are just now

briefly lit
with trembling

static stars
of downy lint

4 comments:

  1. Lovely, Bobby.I can feel that static from here...

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    Replies
    1. Hey Jonathan,
      Thanks for dropping by and the generous comment. After years of tinkering with this idea, the final lines finally came while hiking in the snowy-fog on the Appalachian Trail in Pennsylvania yesterday - didn't have any paper, so was concerned I would forget before I got back to the car!
      Cheers,
      B.R.

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  2. trembling/static stars/of downy lint

    These closing lines are beautiful.

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    Replies
    1. W.B.
      Thanks for your kind reading. Almost totally destroyed the delicate and fleeting scene before I rejected versions that contained additional "p" words like: pert and pout and pretty.
      If I would dare draw the camera in this close, the language had to give way (after the exact half-way point at "lips") to a new constellation of sounds to highlight, and magnify, the downy stars.
      Regards,
      B.R.

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